Life is complicated. So many issues to ponder about, so many stresses in life to contemplate, so many fears and uncertainties, so many fights between the mini angel and devil, so many friendships to cherish and work at keeping. So many opportunities we are blind too, so much potential we don't recognize. Endless stories in every face passing me by along the street. Bad days, good days; bad times, great times; love, out of love; satisfied, unsatisfied; troubled, free.

WOO HOO.. my brain hurts.

One of my older friends (she's 50++) told me the other day that she lost her mother and her 1 year old sister when she was 5 yrs of age in a car accident. Back in the days they didn't have seat belts, so they both flew through the front windscreen. I didn't know what to say. Then she carried on to say that her stepmom never bought her toys throughout her childhood. She only bought her blood daughter whatever toys she wanted. So the first thing my friend did when she started earning her own money was to buy soft toys for herself.

It sounded like something from a novel.

At that moment, I remembered how fragile life was. Friends and family can be taken away in a split second, so unexpectedly. It's such a frightening thought. I don't think I realise how easily life can be taken away.. something I find extremely difficult to drill into my head. Partly cause I've never had a personal experience. I know one day I'll be faced with this reality.. I pray that when that day comes, I'll be strong enough to handle it.

Just 2 days ago, I ran into a drunk aboriginal on the tram on the way to Uni. He was going on about how Asians and Indians have invaded Australia and stealing all the available jobs. Leaving australian aboriginals to turn to drugs and booze with low levels of education. It was so awkward... And yet, it was so true. We're part of the problem. Got me thinking about giving back to the aboriginals in the future. Maybe working in the rural area/aboriginal community for a couple of years?

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I finally figured out the love language in which I speak.
After a series of events, "acts of service" stood out to me.
I've always remember things that friends have done for me.

For example,

I remember a time 3 years back, I was out at East Coast Park (a 'beach' in Singapore) with the Saltshakers.. but someone said something to me that sort of hurt my feelings. To make matters worse, I fell in the mud and had to go wash off. The stupid toilet was ages away. So I miserably made my way there on my own.. I think I was almost in tears.

After washing up and everything, I trudged back to where everyone was, not feeling that much better. Then I found out that Lydia actually went to look for me. I was so immensely touched when I saw her walking back from a distance. (I don't think I ever told her this.) That's one moment I don't think I'd ever forget, even though it doesn't seem that significant.

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More recently, I've been really appreciating what 'Dee Dee' has been doing for me. Like watching my soccer match, waiting with me till my parents came to pick me up from the station, patiently waiting by my side while I constantly felt on my arse when snowboarding.

Conversely.. I think I sort of remember the negative too. Like when friends disappoint me in terms of this area, I tend to remember it more than anything else.

Self-evaluation can be so confusing sometimes.

Lets you and me
Make a night of it
Old enough to know
But too young to care

So one fine random day.. Wendy, Joy and I decided that we should go to the snow & we actually ended up carrying through with our plan! (: It was the most random, most spontaneous thing ever. It turned out to be one of the most memorable road trips of my life. Everything just worked our extremely well with barely any hiccups.

Snow was perfect.
No one smashed into a tree.
No one got hurt from boarding.
We did everything under the expected budget.

Only one thing dodged happened...

I ripped my pants.

(thank God no one was mean enough to take a pic of my "samurai skirt")

It didn't totally wreck my day cause we had a spare pair of pants since Penny had to rest her knees. I managed to replace my dodgy pants.
AND.... I finally got to snowboard!!! Another thing I can tick off my list of "Things to do before I kick the bucket".

Wendy & I sticking our heads out the cable car..

"I look like a monstrous man!"
- Yenny with a 'P'

I think I did about 15 face plants in the end.
It's a miracle I didn't break something.

Jackie-O

Legendary chair lifts.

It was really quite exhilarating.

Hot stuff.

Joy toy (:

Maccas dinner to even out the hard work (:

Definitely a trip to remember.

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Thanks for being a true friend, yo.

Paulie:
You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Paulie:
We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Paulie:
I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Both:
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you

How can God stand by and watch injustice being done to the innocent?
Like children being used as sex slaves?
An innocent girl being raped?
Stuff that makes anyone feel absolutely unsettled deep within...

In suffering, we never fail to ask God "why?"

I have been struggling with these few questions over the past week. I asked God to speak to me and give me peace about it. I mean.. how can a loving God stand by and watch someone He loves suffer so much? It just didn't make sense. How can I explain this to a non-christian when I don't even really understand it myself?

The other day I read Lamentations during my quiet time and I felt God speaking to me through several verses in chapter 3. The book of Lamentations was mostly written by Jeremiah, a prophet. He faced a lot of suffering himself for the sake of obedience to God. He dedicated his whole life to tell the Israelites to repent of their evil ways and to turn to God, even when it meant danger and suffering for him.

There were many times he cried out to God.. this time, in chapter 3, the Israelites had thrown him into a deep well and covered it with a rock. They left him there to die in the depth of the darkness while being half covered in water.


"I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:


Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
(vs. 19 - 23)


Though he brings grief, He will show compassion,
so great is His unfailing love.
For He does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.
(vs. 32 - 33)


..to deny a man his rights before the Most High,
to deprive a man of justice -
would not the LORD see such things?"
(vs 36)


At the end of the day, God will never let us go through something we cannot bear. That's His promise to us. No matter how horrific a particular circumstance may be, God knows us better than we do ourselves. He knows how much we can take. He'll make us stronger than we can ever imagine, by His grace and mercy. He is faithful, just and compassionate. Any injustice done will not escape from His view.

No matter what we go through, we can always find hope in His love and faithfulness that is new every morning. I don't know why, but it just makes me feel so refreshed to know that (: His love is truly greater than any love the world has ever known. We just have to trust in His love for us.. and to rely on Him through the times we feel we're about to break apart in sheer desperation.



"I called on Your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.

You heard my plea: 'Do not close Your ears
to my cry for relief.'

You came near when I called You,
and You said, 'Do not fear.'"
(vs. 55-57)

Tess found this on the net and posted it on FB.

M&Ms

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

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I just wished they sold the peanut butter filled M&Ms in Australia (: