A vague figure in the mist
Reaching out with hope
Yearning a cover of love
A calming place of serenity

The darkness is imminent
The search is getting heavier
Hanging grey clouds the eyes
A word untainted held as treasure

Zac and I finally got to hang with JOCELYN LIAO (:
We had dinner at Wing Long and then headed back to Joce's humble abode.
Dinner at Wing Long was quite funny. I don't know what came over me, but I think I saw a streak of my mother's aggroness and intolerance in me towards waiters. LOL.
I can't help feeling a little bad, even tho I may not show it.
I just wanted my eel fried rice ):

Don't laugh.
Only three of us, the victims of our silliness
are entitled to laugh at ourselves.

I'm really starting to miss my school maties!
Haven't seen them in about a week and a bit. I'm already getting withdrawal symptoms. LOL. Why do they have to be such busy bees for?

NANCY AND FloNG.
Ditching me for HK and Beijing.
All they have is good dim sims and a gigantic wall. -.-
Must be so boring without me to lighten up their lives! HAHA.

LOL.
All I can say is..
Thank God it's a non-motion picture.

Vernis' 21st was on the Saturday.
It was pretty fun, except that I CAN'T DANCE. LOL.
You'd have to intoxicate me with amount of sugar before I'll actually get on the dancefloor (:
AND I didn't drink because I was a good girl. Hahaha.. I just couldn't decide WHAT to drink and I didn't know how much I could take. So I drank Isaac's lemon lime without bitters and good old coke.

I think the speeches were the best part of the night (:
They were so touching. I think if I were Vernis, I'd be reduced to many litres of tears.
My favourite was Bryan serenading Vernis. LOL.
He's so romantic!
Looks like a Mini-Seow will be coming in no time. HAHAHA.

Just washed the shower. Now, every breath that I take has a tinge of lemony "goodness".
I think I'm infected with detergent ):

Stepping a little further into the deep,
Something holds you back.
The fear that in a moment
The facade may be compromised.

HAHA at Jelly and B.O. (Malaysians.. HAHAHAHA.)
Adrienne, Audrey, Sarah, we have to meet up soon (:
Exams are over, we have no excuse. LOL.

Gabby Goh is leaving for Singapore on Wednesday!!!
Gabby, I'll really miss you! I'll miss your ranting about school and your amazing determination to do whatever you set your heart to accomplish. I'll miss your corny smiles and sadistic laughter. I'll miss your futile attempts to look hardcore because we all know inside of you is as soft as strawberry marshmallow. I'm sure you'll own the army. Hopefully, by the time you get out, the word "GG!" will be out of your daily vocab.. then people like my brother can stop getting influenced by you. Hahaha... Have fun in the army, Gabby. Remember to send me a picture of your bald head instead of the food in Singapore. Tight arse. (Audrey don't laugh)
I'll miss you GABBY GOH, my year 12 buddy!

It's officially the end (:
Finally. I really don't know what I should be feeling?
Anxiety, because of results?
Comfort, because I know God is with me?
Joy, because I can finally waste time without feeling guilty?
Without VCE, I find it hard to figure out WHAT in the world I want to do.

I want to have fun, fun and fun.
But I want to do something different this time, something that will change someone's life or... will make a long term difference. I'll figure it out (:
I believe I don't have to think very hard to do something extraordinary.
It can be simple, but out of the ordinary.

I ACTUALLY HAVE TIME NOW! MU HA HA.


Ok.. so the LAST LAST LAST day of high school was on the
13th of November 2008.
I didn't cry! I couldn't believe it. I feel so sad and heavy-hearted, YET, the tears are not flowing for some reason. But I find myself a lot more emotionally attached when I watch dramatic movies. I was watching "Nanny Diaries" just now.. and I was like... almost tearing -.-
I hope I'm not just keeping it all in.
I don't want to be an emotional wreck ):

I miss you guys very much.
Thanks for the memories we've had in University High School.
I took some time to like this school,
but you guys have made me fall in love with it (:
(no, that does not make me a nerd)

Even though Chemistry exam was crap.
I have to say, THANK GOD FOR CHEMISTRY.
If I never did it, I would never have known Nancy as well as I do now.
And all the weird confusing equations, heat of combustion, fuel cells, IR spectrums, Radioactive resonance, Acid-Base equilibriums, volts, moles... THEY WERE ALL WORTH IT (: HAHA.

After the Chemistry exam, I FELT SO LIBERATED (:
I was finally let out of my cage!
We had a surprise party of FloNG. I think it was pretty successful! I didn't wreck it this time. Hehe..

After that I went for lunch with the Twins, Sheryl and Nancy. It was the 3rd meal outside of school that we've ever had together. LOL. How strange ): It's alright, there will be many many more to come.
At night, Nancy, Aira and I had dinner with Hyato, Cary and William. LOL. It was pretty awkward at first, cause the guys were on the quiet side, except for Wendy. It was fun nonetheless (:

I didn't realise the Oysters at Sofia's was THAT good.

This is a public apology to B.O. HAHA.
Sorry for ditching.
I know you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.
:P

Ran into an old-ish friend today as I took the train to the city.
I can't believe it was still awkward between us.
I wish I had the courage to apologise for all the stupid and immature things I said in the not very ancient past.

I hate it how I fail to realise my obvious flaws till I grow up.
When I was young (about Franny's age.. haha) I thought I was very mature. I remember asking Jocelyn if she thought my brother or I was more mature. She replied without much hesitation.. "Isaac." I never forgot that. It hit me like a ton of jelly (as heavy as a brick).
It's only now I've learnt that when you have to want others to think that you are mature, that's when you're immature. When you think you're humble, that's when you're proud.
LOL.

Here's a good quote to think about,
it was made by the antagonist in "Cliffhanger".:

When one kills a few, he is a murderer.
When one kills thousands, he is a conqueror.
Go figure.

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

-Hanging by a Moment, Lifehouse

Ok.. I know it's a bit weird that I'm only starting to be concerned now.
But I am.
I'm concerned about what's going to happen next year.
So many things have changed this year, without me even realising till now.
Sometimes change can just creep up slowly on you.
Before you realise, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
Then again, change is not always bad,
even though it makes most of us uncomfortable.

New school life at University.. I'm not even sure which University I'm going to.
New friends to make, new faces to get used to.
Every year I find myself drifting from certain friends.
And when I look back, I can't believe I was actually good friends with them.
Sometimes that frightens me.
That one day, I'll look back at some friends who I'm comfortable with now and wonder how that ever happened.

):

It's only a month and a half away from the beginning of 2009.
2009 is only a year away from 2010.
In 2010 I'll be TWENTY.

SHUCKS MAN. SHUCKS.

Life is truly fleeting.
Like a shadow,
a wave in the ocean.

Thank God for placing eternity in our hearts

I was reading through some of my OLD posts since 2004.
Let's just say, thank God I've grown up. Haha.

Here's a post from the 23rd of May 2004.
You guys might find it quite funny, I sure did.
Please ignore the grammatical errors and immaturity.
Keep in mind that I was... 14.
That's like.. Franny's age. HAHA.

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Mean Toddlers and HOW TO RECONISE THEM

Some of you know i'm not a small gal and won't believe that i got beaten up by a primary ONE girl... BUT IM TELLING U NOW! I got beaten up by a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy! Seriously, i was BULLIED by two of them! (im not gonna name them).

The girl kept jumping on me asking me to piggyback her. Or should i say TOLD me to piggyback her. And i assure u, she wasn't light. When i tried to run away, she kept chasing me, i even ran to my brother in hope that she will stop harassing me. BUT she jumped on me! She took off my jumper from my body and when i tried to hold on to it, she pulled it even harder. I didn't want my jumper to tear apart, so i let her have it, then i ignored her and she gave it back to me. I immediately took the jumper to my mum for safe keeping. Then i sat with the parent for a while so tt she won't pester me. BUT she came next to me and started tickling my feet!...-.-

Thinking that she won't "abuse" me again, i went to sit next to my bro who was peacefully playing chess with the girl's bro which was, i MUST SAY, MUCh more mature. Then she started jumping on me. She bodyslammed me 6 times i think. I used the pillow to stop her and she just kept jumping on it. Like i said, she WASN'T light... I was about to scream MUMMY HELP ME!!!! But i tot the better of that and ask my bro to help. But he told me to stop it, or told her to stop it. Then she started pulling my sock from my feet. She pulled it and i held onto my sock. Same as the jumper, i didn't want to to tear apart. So i kept it in my pocket after getting it back.(IT STINKED)

I can't keep on going about how they "abused" me, so just the short of it. I DIDN'T like it! I HATED IT AND IT WAS A BAD BAD BAD BAD EXPERIENCE...i don't think i ever wanna visit them again. After this episode i think i had a few brusies on my left arm...

But then again, they are still small at heart. And may not know what they are doing, so i just pray God will take the "hitting" spirit out of those 2 =p
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you had a good laugh at my expense.
Thank God I'm so much more mature than I was back then ((:
(If you disagree, go eat a fish.)

Exams have been quite alright. Surprisingly, it hasn't been very stressful.
Actually it's been quite the opposite.
I was so much more tense and stressed before the exams started.
Now that I'm in the midst of it, it's like, I can't be bothered stressing anymore.
I think I wouldn't be able to find such peace if I didn't have God by my side.

I'm so grateful to God for getting me through the past 12 months.
Year 12 is seriously a very hard road to travel on. It's no joke.
It messes with your mind endlessly, day in, day out.
BUT, even though it has taken a lot of me,
because of year 12, I've learnt to cherish my friends even more, to cherish freedom and to make good use of time. I've learnt to strive for a greater purpose than just good results (:

I think if I had the choice to avoid year 12, I wouldn't.

NONETHELESS.....
I'M GETTING TIRED.
SO HURRY END ALREADY.
Two more exams to go.