Show me, O Lord, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.

Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro;
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

(Psalm 39: 4-6)

Life and all its worries, the strife, the hustle and bustle of it all. It comes to nothing if God is not in the centre of everything we do. As I was reading this during my QT, I was reminded that even as I rush to catch up with work at school and to memorise my detailed study, I should be doing it for the right reasons.

If it is to please men, I might as well not do it at all.
I should be doing my best, so that I can put a smile on God's face.
So that I can bring Him glory. If not, all gain is but loss.

Life is so uncertain, so short. It's a real pity that MANY of us, including myself, forget that life can be taken away in a split second; in just one moment. Even toboganning down a slope and banging into a tree can cause death. Sounds funny, but it's not supposed to be.

I wish I could live life everyday as if it's my last.

I miss I miss I miss I miss..

One obvious fact I've learn:
Laziness and constant procrastination kills.

Got told off my the teacher today. Quite badly actually.
Could tell that she was pretty frustrated and pissed with me.
I worked hard last week writing up my whole detailed study.
But obviously, that wasn't taken into account.
I was too late.

Why am I so crappishly sensitive? -.- sigh.

I'm not depressed, just in case anyone's wondering.
I'm just.. really really really frustrated.
And somewhat eager to prove my teacher wrong.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

(Psalm 34:18)

This is video clip of the Beatbouncrs in the Youth Alive Exo Day dance competition! You guys rocked!!! Too bad you didn't get to dance in the Rod Laver Arena, I'm sure 10 000 screams will be louder than our mini Fungus fan club. Haha..

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. (Psalm 28:7)

In Psychology, we were talking about different needs that humans have according to Freud's theories.. and he reckoned that sex was an essential part of life. So weird. Well.. we had a discussion in class and my teacher said something which I really agreed with.

Humans don't need sex to survive, but they need to be loved.
We crave intimacy.

God didn't create us to be alone.
Have you ever wondered how love came to be? What makes us want to have intimacy and closeness with others? I think that God puts this desire for love in us, so that it can lead us to him. It's shocking how the world has warped this pure love. We define love with our own faulty definititions and with our ignorant standards... will we ever know the meaning of pure love?

Psychology is interesting :)
Too bad I'm not doing it next year.

Chose my subjects for next year and have already handed the form in.

I'm going to breath, eat and sleep BIO, CHEM, ACCOUNTING, METHODS and ENGLISH for the whole of next year. Hopefully I can get all my subjects.

I can't wait for December!!! WOOOO HOOOOO.
It's gonna be sooooo fun!

15th of Dec is Qynnie and MOM's (Sonja's) wedding!!!!!!

then.................

16th of Dec flight to SINGAPORE at 1am in the morning!!! (hopefully)
followed by a bus ride to KL with tab, lyd and joce in the very same morning!

Maybe I can even meet whoever's going back to KL!
LIKE B.O or Jelly ((:
SO exciting!!!!!!!!

Almost took my mind of stinking Chinese Xp

O wait, I forgot, I love Chinese.
I want to do Chinese for the rest of my life.
I want to be totally immersed in Chinese.

*Self-inflicted brain washing is not working*

I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hand
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand

-Brian Litrell, Christ Alone

I'm forgiven because You were forsakened
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your spirit lives within me
Because you died and rose again

Amazing Love, how can it be
That You, my King, would die for me
Amazing Love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honour You
In all I do, I honour you

It was scary after church today. A mini-hell was broken lose in church, how ironic. Sometimes I wonder why my mum has to be so uptight about opinions that people have.. but I really respect and admire her for being able to raise her voice when everyone else is afraid to speak up. Let's just say.. you'd want my mum on your side if you were in an argument. LOL. I'm glad it was settled somewhat peacefully in the end.

I've been listening to 'Never Let Go' by Bryan Adams recently.
The first verse of the lyrics strike many, many cords in my heart.

Can you lay your life down
So a stranger can live

Can you take what you need
And take less than you give

Could you close everyday
Without the glory and fame

Would you hold your head high
When no one knows your name

I wish I could answer 'Yes' to these questions.
But I don't think I can.

Complaining is all I do
The fact is that I don't have a clue
What the world is really like
What it means to put up a fight

I think we tend to blog more when we're emo.
Well.. I do.
When I've a lot on my mind,
I tend to want to share it without having to speak.
This blog becomes pretty useful..

It's so ironic how life is so fragile.. like a breath..
but to us, our lives mean everything.
Most of us would do anything to save it,
We always try to live it to the fullest.
In the end, what do we achieve?

99.95 for VCE? A doctor at Melbourne Uni. WOW.
PhD in blah blah blah... Dr. Jerusha Ho. WOW.

Aunties always go 'wahhhh, your daughter/son so smart...'
because they go to this or that school.
because they got into this or that course at Uni.
because they got such an esteemed job.
because they can afford whatever.

Why do humans always fight for recognition and praise?
Why can't we just realised everything is meaningless without God..?
That we are just tiny, tiny, tiny, puny, little people in the whole immeasurable Universe that God created.

We blame God for our sufferings and problems, why did He let this happen? Why does it have to be me? But we forget that He chose to care for us, He chose to love us despite how small we are and despite how GREAT He is. We can never comprehend the mind of our creator, we can never understand the way God works, He's just too great to be fathomed by our human minds.

So what are we suppose to do when everything's just crumbling around us? .. Cling to the word of God and hold on to promise that God loves you and me.

Have to choose my subjects by next week. These subjects, supposedly, determine which path my life will take. How stressful.
Chinese teacher is biting my butt and calling me lazy. So true. LOL.
At least I did some work today.

Now I'm so tired... I think I'm going to faint any moment.
Shall blog more another fine day (:

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,

So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.

And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds

And into the light at the end of the fight.

My new favourite singer is MISSY HIGGINS (:
I love, love, love her voice, so unique and beautiful.
Her lyrics are so personal that you can't help wondering what happened in her life that inspired her to write these songs. Hm.. It's nice when you can see a singer just as they are, when they're not represented in any other way, but through the song of their hearts. You can tell so much from the lyrics.. Wish I could write so creatively and meaningfully like her



Here's one of her songs that I really like, called 'Steer'.

Lyrics here if you want to read it (:

Steer

Feel it falling off like clothing
Taste it rolling on your tongue
See the lights above you glowing
Oh and breathe them deep into your lungs

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings
And you've had enough

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

So hold this feeling like a newborn
Of freedom surging through your veins
You have opened up a new door
So bring on the wind, fire and rain

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been played at a game called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

'Cos you've been listening for answers
But the city screams and all your dreams go unheard

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Year get out of the box and step into the clear
'Cos now you finally know you can steer


Freedom, what an undescribable feeling.

A Crevice in a Wall

A scribble of black

Skillfully thought out and drawn

Seemingly insignificant and small

About to make you its puppet

A black line

Just slightly more defined

Easing its way into normality

Get used to it. It's there, it's there.

A shallow hole

Underneath a piece of your soul

Pretense tries to cover it

Somethings can't be hidden

by Jerusha Ho

This short little poem is about sin. I don't know why I wrote it, but I did. Sin always seems so harmless and 'innocent' at the start. But even sin can 'start small and end big' in a bad way. If it's there and you know it, get rid of it, before it consumes you.